28 February 2010

Boy Meets Girl Meets Uncertainty...

So this devotional thing has been wonderful thus far. I really like my Woman's Devotional and LOVE the Love Dare: Day By Day. They are both really insightful and have great ways to apply God's Word to daily life. This week, The Love Dare challenges us to live a life of love and truly be examples of Christs love for us. They had a really cool activity where you take 1 Cor 13:4-7 and replace the words "love" and "it" with your name. For me it reads:
"Claire is patient, Claire is kind.
Claire does not envy, does not boast.
Claire is not proud, is not rude.
Claire does not demand her own way.
Claire is not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs.

Claire does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
Claire always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
Isnt that cool? Of course it will read differently for you. But it is such a tangible way to embody how we are supposed to lead Christlike lives. This devo was probably my favorite part of the entire week!

On another note, this Boy Meets Girl book is spurring a lot more questions than it is providing answers. Have any of you read this book? It seems so radical. Its causing Aaron and I to question our motives and our relationship. But when our love for each other is not in question, should we be worrying about it? I mean there are some really great points that Harris makes that make a lot of sense but I'm not sure I agree. Of course we are only on chapter two but the controversy seems to come from this idea that [in a nutshell] says that you shouldn't date/court until you're ready to consider marriage. Well personally, we know marriage is the ultimate goal but we have several other goals we'd like to meet in between that time. Does that mean it's wrong for us to be together?? Ahh I dont know. Thankfully Clint and Kelsey have come into our lives and hopefully they can shed some light on the situation. Anyone else, feel free to chime in.

Lastly, [this is a short one this week] PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be praying for Aaron's momma. She's having complications with treatment for her auto-immune disorder. It's a scary time for the entire family. God is the great physician and I know He still works miracles.

Well, Im off to study the Word, yo. :)
Thanks for reading. And please, prayers and input is MUCH appreciated!!

p.s. For the other ex-Cons... we sang this song in church and I would have cried had it not been my turn to write prayer requests. I loooove this song. It was so powerful to sing with yall. [Thanks for the vid Tour J]


So just a little follow up from earlier today. I got the chance to talk to Clint about my concerns over what this book is saying and he was quick to point out that no matter what, your goal should not be marriage or a career or a family, but Jesus. Our ultimate goal and purpose is to serve, love, and honor Christ in what we do. God will make a way and will use wherever we are at for the greater benefit of His kingdom.

I feel better about this. [Yea Clint it really does take the pressure off :) ] I know that giving up control and giving it all to God is all about doing my best to follow His Word and listen for guidance.

Yay. I'm happy. :)


  1. It's my thought and preference, that I wouldn't "date" anyone that wouldn't be suitable or right for me to marry. Just not the serial dater. That is what is right for me. Second, the holding hands, kissing that comes with dating/courting don't mean much at all these days if you're willing to kiss, touch, hold hands with anyone. So, my thought is, maybe it's a "heart condition" guideline and not so much a factual guideline. Just my thoughts...

  2. Hello, Claire. I googled "boy meets girl devotional" and your blog showed up in the results. Anyway, I'm reading the book too. It's challenging me a lot and confirming some things that deep down inside I knew, but could not express in words.

    I too struggle with the "dating only when marriage is the intent" idea. I mean, I'm not a serial dater by any means and I believe that having a gf just for the sake of not being lonely is pretty lame. I want my dating to be intentional.

    I'm dating someone now, actually she's the person who gave me the book. I've known her for 9 months and we've been dating three months. I know that I like her, and her devotion to God...but I'm not sure if we are to get married. Does that mean we shouldn't date?

    Another issue for "us" is defining the relationship. Since we are dating now, should we be official boyfriend/girlfriend? I think it's bothering her that I haven't asked her officially, yet our relationship and friendship is growing in a positive way. One reason I haven't popped the question is that she stated (before we began to see each other) once that she wanted to wait 6 months before she started dating. Her 6 months will be up in June. I'm confused whether to wait or ask her now. Thanks for your post and sorry that I'm just ranting now...and a complete stranger at that.

    May the Lord continue to guide your relationship.


  3. A

    I am floored that you thought enough of my blog to ask my opinion. Let me start by saying that if God is not first in your relationship, then it is not something that is honoring Him.

    Regarding your questions, I feel that Harris makes some really good points in the book but to be fair, after we got to a point where his views were conflicting with where we felt God was calling us, we stopped reading it. But that is, again, because we feel that God is using us in a positive way to bless each other and to bless others around us. Keep in mind that this book is one way that God spoke to one man, it may be different for you. The only universal answer on relationships is what God says in the Bible. Aside from being a person who embodies the description of love in 1 Cor 13: 4-7, God pretty much doesn't talk about "dating" as we know it because that type of courting didn't exist in Biblical times. What God does say is to refrain from any kind of sexual impurity. Period.

    In my own personal opinion, I think that God will bless your relationship if you use your relationship to bless Him. If you keep prayer and bible study at the center of your lives, He's going to speak to you and give you much clearer answers than I can give. I dont think that God looks down upon dating unless it interferes with your personal relationship with Him, which needs a strong foundation above all else.

    I will say that reading this book brought up a lot of deep questions between by boyfriend and I that we had to seriously consider and be able to answer honestly. It was very powerful to be able to have those types of conversations, however, they did lead to us taking a break. My boyfriend is not ready to get married, but he continues to say that I am someone he would marry. For us, its an issue of timing. Thankfully, God used the break to bring us each closer to Him and eventually back to each other. But that doesn't mean that we know that a future is in store.

    Bear in mind also that we have been dating for a while and feel that those conversations weren't inappropriate for where we were. Still, jumping into the discussion of marriage and the future took us through a period of relational intimacy but made both of us feel like we were taking the fun out of dating, even when we are dating with the ultimate purpose of finding a spouse with whom we can grow and honor God.


  4. ....

    For your relationship, you need to ask yourself if this girl is someone you would marry. If shes not, then dont waste her time. Believe me. If she is, or if you're willing to further explore the potential of marriage, then maybe a relationship with more of a commitment would be in store. First off, dont let her pressure you into the bf/gf title. My bf and I dated for several weeks as an unofficial couple before making it official. But I really used the time to enjoy the "funness" of dating.

    If you really want to honor her previous request and wait till June to ask her to be your girlfriend, you might want to consider giving her more concrete confirmation of your commitment to date only her. Keep in mind, that if you do end up getting married to this girl, that every day in this early stage is a part of your love story. And this could be chalked up to sappy woman stuff but I know I would want the guy to make it as memorable and romantic as possible. So if you dont want to ask her to be your girlfriend now, then start thinking of how you might be able to sweep her off her feet when asking her later.

    If she keeps pressuring you, remember, it's likely that she just wants confirmation of your feelings and needs some security in the relationship. You could consider getting her a small piece of jewelry or reaffirming your affections for her more frequently. Remember, we want to feel like the we're only woman in the world to you.

    Lastly, my boyfriend and I started reading The 5 Languages of Love and will likely be moving on to reading Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti. They come highly recommended. But ultimately, delve into God's Word and into prayer and trust His plan for yalls lives.

    I will be praying for you and your lady friend. Please let me know how it all works out. I hope that you can take something from what I said, but ultimately remember that this is just MY opinion. Listen to what God is saying to you.